1 But that would be a cruel kindness, and I dare not do it.
2 I writhed under his words, yet dared not exhibit the pain I felt.
3 But revenge kept me alive; I dared not die and leave my adversary in being.
4 I dared not think that they would turn them from me with disdain and horror.
5 I dared not ask the fatal question, but I was known, and the officer guessed the cause of my visit.
6 What chiefly struck me was the gentle manners of these people, and I longed to join them, but dared not.
7 Now, dear Victor, I dare say you wish to be indulged in a little gossip concerning the good people of Geneva.
8 Fear overcame me; I dared no advance, dreading a thousand nameless evils that made me tremble, although I was unable to define them.
9 This hovel however, joined a cottage of a neat and pleasant appearance, but after my late dearly bought experience, I dared not enter it.
10 I approached this tremendous being; I dared not again raise my eyes to his face, there was something so scaring and unearthly in his ugliness.
11 Half surprised by the novelty of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy.
12 I did not dare return to the apartment which I inhabited, but felt impelled to hurry on, although drenched by the rain which poured from a black and comfortless sky.
13 For an instant I dared to shake off my chains and look around me with a free and lofty spirit, but the iron had eaten into my flesh, and I sank again, trembling and hopeless, into my miserable self.
14 I looked towards its completion with a tremulous and eager hope, which I dared not trust myself to question but which was intermixed with obscure forebodings of evil that made my heart sicken in my bosom.
15 I waited for my letters with feverish impatience; if they were delayed I was miserable and overcome by a thousand fears; and when they arrived and I saw the superscription of Elizabeth or my father, I hardly dared to read and ascertain my fate.
16 I endeavoured to crush these fears and to fortify myself for the trial which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble in the fields of Paradise, and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed smiles of consolation.
17 But when I discovered that he, the author at once of my existence and of its unspeakable torments, dared to hope for happiness, that while he accumulated wretchedness and despair upon me he sought his own enjoyment in feelings and passions from the indulgence of which I was forever barred, then impotent envy and bitter indignation filled me with an insatiable thirst for vengeance.
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