1 Winston roused himself and sat up straighter.
2 The diary would be reduced to ashes and himself to vapour.
3 He smiled, sympathetically he hoped, not trusting himself to speak.
4 He sat back in his chair, slightly ashamed of himself, and laid down the pen.
5 Winston wondered whether Comrade Tillotson was engaged on the same job as himself.
6 Goldstein himself, it was said, had sometimes been seen there, years and decades ago.
7 Something seemed to tell him with certainty that Tillotson was busy on the same job as himself.
8 He had the air of trying to keep what he was saying a secret between himself and the telescreen.
9 Now he had recognized himself as a dead man it became important to stay alive as long as possible.
10 Winston poured out nearly a teacupful, nerved himself for a shock, and gulped it down like a dose of medicine.
11 All that they did was to keep alive in him the belief, or hope, that others besides himself were the enemies of the Party.
12 He felt as though he were wandering in the forests of the sea bottom, lost in a monstrous world where he himself was the monster.
13 For some reason Winston suddenly found himself thinking of Mrs. Parsons, with her wispy hair and the dust in the creases of her face.
14 It had been on the tip of his tongue to say 'Except the proles,' but he checked himself, not feeling fully certain that this remark was not in some way unorthodox.
15 It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost the power of expressing himself, but even to have forgotten what it was that he had originally intended to say.
16 Winston debated with himself whether to award Comrade Ogilvy the Order of Conspicuous Merit: in the end he decided against it because of the unnecessary cross-referencing that it would entail.
17 Then, with a movement which was as nearly as possible unconscious, he crumpled up the original message and any notes that he himself had made, and dropped them into the memory hole to be devoured by the flames.
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