1 An officer put me in my place from the first moment.
2 At first I began making stealthy inquiries about this officer.
3 This officer was over six foot, while I was a spindly little fellow.
4 But of the uppish ones there was one officer in particular I could not endure.
5 I often met that officer afterwards in the street and noticed him very carefully.
6 The officer was afterwards transferred; I have not seen him now for fourteen years.
7 I had to change the collar at any sacrifice, and to have a beaver one like an officer's.
8 I was simply amusing myself with the petitioners and with the officer, and in reality I never could become spiteful.
9 After my affair with the officer I felt even more drawn there than before: it was on the Nevsky that I met him most frequently, there I could admire him.
10 Don't imagine, though, it was cowardice made me slink away from the officer; I never have been a coward at heart, though I have always been a coward in action.
11 One morning, though I had never tried my hand with the pen, it suddenly occurred to me to write a satire on this officer in the form of a novel which would unmask his villainy.
12 I bet you think I am writing all this from affectation, to be witty at the expense of men of action; and what is more, that from ill-bred affectation, I am clanking a sword like my officer.
13 The letter was so composed that if the officer had had the least understanding of the sublime and the beautiful he would certainly have flung himself on my neck and have offered me his friendship.
14 At work in the office I never looked at anyone, and was perfectly well aware that my companions looked upon me, not only as a queer fellow, but even looked upon me--I always fancied this--with a sort of loathing.
15 I came to you, meaning to thrash one of them, an officer; but I didn't succeed, I didn't find him; I had to avenge the insult on someone to get back my own again; you turned up, I vented my spleen on you and laughed at you.
16 They were engaged in warm and earnest conversation about a farewell dinner which they wanted to arrange for the next day to a comrade of theirs called Zverkov, an officer in the army, who was going away to a distant province.
17 I hated my face, for instance: I thought it disgusting, and even suspected that there was something base in my expression, and so every day when I turned up at the office I tried to behave as independently as possible, and to assume a lofty expression, so that I might not be suspected of being abject.
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