Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of their society, and others think young people should be free to behave as individuals
IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
Question: Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of their society, and others think young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Some believe the young generation should follow national customs and habits; however, youngsters claim they should act freely...
On the one hand, proponents of this theory, like local authorities and historians, often claim the countless studies and facts that support this trend...
Nevertheless, despite some valuable arguments mentioned above, following national customs and habits could hinder youth development...
In conclusion, despite some tangible benefits of adopting national customs by the young generation, in my perspective, it will stop contemporary youngsters from developing and even sometimes could have a detrimental impact on their physical and mental health...
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 159 characters; Words/Sentence: 24
Suggestions: IELTS Essay Format: -You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(17), some(9), national(8), young(6), customs(6), could(6), habits(5); try to decrease duplicated words. -High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some. -Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response: -All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response. Coherence and Cohesion: -Ideas are logically organized, and the response has a clear progression. Lexical Resources: -The range of vocabulary is quite broad and shows awareness of collocation, but there are some errors for a higher band here. Grammar Range and Accuracy: -There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
Sticking to tradition or following one's heart and taking the road less traveled has led to numerous conflicts...
Tradition has sculpted society and acts as a life guideline to many. Moreover, tradition plays a formative role in cultivating one's identity...
I think both sides have reasonable points. Conserving the quintessential points of tradition and implementing them in a novel fashion can perpetuate excellence...
In a nutshell, novelty and tradition don't always have to clash with each other. We can excel in unthinkable ways through integration and working in concert with each other...