Question: Competitiveness is regarded as a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Answer 1
Many people believe that competition is of utmost significance in individual life, which would be arduous for people to succeed...
Undoubtedly, competition brings some brighter sides to individual life. It is a quality one can learn from childhood to the end...
Secondly, we live in a world where people can not compete with others without competition. If we don't participate in this race, there will be more chances to lose it...
Conversely, some people believe that it spreads negativity in individual life. Many times, people face failure in life at that time...
Although competitiveness is crucial in everyone's life to give the right direction for their future, sometimes it creates bitterness in the relationship...
Amongst the significant issues of contemporary society is desperately struggling with a high rate of competitiveness, which has various impacts on society and has direct attention of the government and society to itself...
Stats with the fact that such a grave challenge plays a critical role in individuals' development both in social and work life...
Nevertheless, admitting there is some truth in previous arguments, unhealthy competition could devastate individuals and society, especially in business and politics...
In conclusion, healthy competition is essential for society's development and pushes forward human progress, while unhealthy competition could lead to catastrophic consequences in the world...
Sentences: Number: 10; Average Length: 180 characters; Words/Sentence: 27
Suggestions: IELTS Essay Format: -The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points. -High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some. -Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. -Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response: -Off-topic a little, it's for 'affect individuals.' The raters may doubt the essay is memorized; please prepare topics (not essays) in advance. - Help Link1, Help Link2 Coherence and Cohesion: -Some cohesive devices are used effectively, while others are faulty. Lexical Resources: -Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling. Grammar Range and Accuracy: -The various structures would suggest Band 6 on Grammar, but the errors sometimes impede communication. - Help Link