Competitiveness is regarded as a positive quality for people in most societies

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6007
Question:
Competitiveness is regarded as a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Answer 1
Competitiveness is widely regarded as a valuable characteristic in many modern societies. Individuals are often encouraged to strive for excellence in academic, professional, and social environments...

One significant effect of competitiveness is that it encourages personal development and achievement...

Conversely, excessive competitiveness can sometimes generate negative psychological and social consequences...

In conclusion, competitiveness exerts both positive and negative influences on individuals. Although it can occasionally create stress and interpersonal conflict, it also encourages perseverance, ambition, and personal growth...
Band: 8
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words34618553%
Top 300 Words122 (35%)38 (20%)31%
300 - 1000 Words52 (15%)30 (16%)57%
Over 1000 Words172 (49%)117 (63%)68%
Other Comments (amitstievn)
Link Words: 35 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 20; Average Length: 132 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The introduction seems long, refine sentences.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(17), individuals(10), competitiveness(9), can(8), that(7), may(6), for(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 2
Many people believe that competition is of utmost significance in individual life, which would be arduous for people to succeed...

Undoubtedly, competition brings some brighter sides to individual life. It is a quality one can learn from childhood to the end...

Secondly, we live in a world where people can not compete with others without competition. If we don't participate in this race, there will be more chances to lose it...

Conversely, some people believe that it spreads negativity in individual life. Many times, people face failure in life at that time...

Although competitiveness is crucial in everyone's life to give the right direction for their future, sometimes it creates bitterness in the relationship...
Band: 6.5
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Answer 3
Amongst the significant issues of contemporary society is desperately struggling with a high rate of competitiveness, which has various impacts on society and has direct attention of the government and society to itself...

Stats with the fact that such a grave challenge plays a critical role in individuals' development both in social and work life...

Nevertheless, admitting there is some truth in previous arguments, unhealthy competition could devastate individuals and society, especially in business and politics...

In conclusion, healthy competition is essential for society's development and pushes forward human progress, while unhealthy competition could lead to catastrophic consequences in the world...
Band: 5.5
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