Some people think that the detailed criminal descriptions in newspapers and TV can negatively affect society, so this kind of information should be restricted in media

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6011
Question:
Some people think that the detailed criminal descriptions in newspapers and TV can negatively affect society, so this kind of information should be restricted in media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer 1
The crime rate is growing at an alarming rate in all parts of the world. Its television and newspaper broadcasts have adversely affected the ordinary person's psychology...

To begin with, some hideous crime news like rape or murder affects mentally on any individual. When a person sees a live telecast of these crimes, they get terrorized by some disturbing images or visuals...

However, criminal news is also vital for our general awareness and getting updates quickly. People get to know within seconds what is happening around them and in the world through these kinds of media only...

In conclusion, despite the benefit of getting updates from the world or local news, I feel that the media needs to redesign their broadcasting methods not to hamper the nation's psychology but to make the audience aware of the wrongdoings...
Band: 6.5
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Answer 2
Newspapers and TV programs are starting to present every condition and detail about the crime. However, a few people believe that the detailed facts about the criminals from the journals and TV programs have a negative effect...

Firstly, the News should not report all conditions about the criminal case because people need to know only the critical points like that condition, location of the crime, and time...

Furthermore, a few conditions should not be publicly announced, for example, personal information or physical characteristics of victims and suspects...

In conclusion, people think that the few facts from the newspaper and TV shows have negative impacts as some people would get the mentality damage...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26912446%
Top 300 Words138 (51%)49 (39%)35%
300 - 1000 Words48 (17%)30 (24%)62%
Over 1000 Words83 (30%)45 (36%)54%
Other Comments (myatpwintphyu)
Link Words: 25 (including link phrase: 4)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 111 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(9), people(7), that(6), from(5), some(5), condition(4), crime(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link