Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
Stories of USA Today
Materials for Reading & Listening Practice
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6043
Question:
Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
Telecommunication has become a crucial part of sharing information, and people have come closer due to this technology...

It is often seen that these days mobile phones have become a basic necessity for everyone's life. These communication devices should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions...

On the other hand, some populaces deem that conversation on cell phones should be banned for various reasons...

In the end, it can be concluded that these digital gadgets should not be prohibited in congested places as they work as a boon in any emergency...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words32617453%
Top 300 Words145 (44%)47 (27%)32%
300 - 1000 Words78 (23%)50 (28%)64%
Over 1000 Words103 (31%)77 (44%)74%
Other Comments (akb)
Link Words: 24 (including link phrase: 4)
Sentences: Number: 21; Average Length: 98 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(8), should(8), with(7), these(6), people(5), that(5), phones(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The ideas presented are not constantly developed or relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, and cohesive devices are used, though mechanically.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.