Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6047
Question:
Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Answer 1
Peer group pressure, the influence exerted by one's peers to conform to certain behaviors, attitudes, or norms, can have both positive and negative effects on individuals...

One of the primary advantages is its role in shaping social norms and promoting prosocial behaviors...

Moreover, peer group pressure can catalyze personal growth and development. In the context of adolescence, peer influence plays a crucial role in identity formation and exploration...

Furthermore, peer group pressure can act as a protective factor against negative influences and risky behaviors...

While it is essential to acknowledge the potential adverse effects of peer pressure, such as conformity or coercion, the advantages of positive peer group pressure often outweigh the disadvantages...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words29413445%
Top 300 Words104 (35%)30 (22%)28%
300 - 1000 Words31 (10%)19 (14%)61%
Over 1000 Words159 (54%)85 (63%)53%
Other Comments (kwangjean)
Link Words: 31 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 149 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(21), peer(13), pressure(8), can(7), individuals(6), behaviors(5), positive(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.