Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example
IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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Question:
Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
In modern society, many young people admire media personalities and sports celebrities. These individuals often gain widespread attention because of their achievements, popularity, and public image...
On the one hand, some people believe that media and sports stars can positively influence young people...
Conversely, there are also significant concerns about young people admiring celebrities who display negative behavior...
In conclusion, although admiration for media and sports stars can sometimes motivate young people to pursue success, the influence of celebrities who do not set good examples can create negative effects...
On the one hand, some people believe that media and sports stars can positively influence young people...
Conversely, there are also significant concerns about young people admiring celebrities who display negative behavior...
In conclusion, although admiration for media and sports stars can sometimes motivate young people to pursue success, the influence of celebrities who do not set good examples can create negative effects...
Band: 8
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 357 | 169 | 47% |
| Top 300 Words | 132 (36%) | 46 (27%) | 34% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 76 (21%) | 37 (21%) | 48% |
| Over 1000 Words | 149 (41%) | 86 (50%) | 57% |
Other Comments (haigrice)
Link Words: 43 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 146 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(19), young(11), may(8), people(7), can(7), celebrities(6), their(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(19), young(11), may(8), people(7), can(7), celebrities(6), their(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 2
Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars, but this admiration has its share of drawbacks...
Firstly, idolizing media and sports stars can distort young people's perceptions of success and achievement...
Secondly, focusing too much on celebrities can detract from the development of critical personal values and goals...
Moreover, idolizing media and sports stars can contribute to a culture of superficiality and materialism...
In conclusion, while it's natural for young people to admire media and sports stars, it's important to recognize the limitations of this admiration and maintain a critical perspective...
Firstly, idolizing media and sports stars can distort young people's perceptions of success and achievement...
Secondly, focusing too much on celebrities can detract from the development of critical personal values and goals...
Moreover, idolizing media and sports stars can contribute to a culture of superficiality and materialism...
In conclusion, while it's natural for young people to admire media and sports stars, it's important to recognize the limitations of this admiration and maintain a critical perspective...
Band: 7
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