Some people think that climate change could harm business

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6067
Question:
Some people think that climate change could harm business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
An unprecedented transformation in the natural environment hurts the Earth. Some believe it creates more business opportunities, while others condemn this notion...

Undoubtedly, climate change has hurt many types of businesses; it has a detrimental impact on crops and curbs the economy of a particular nation...

By contrast, those who advocate that climate change conditions would have a positive impact on business...

In my ideology, both notions play a crucial role in business, but the negative side is more than the positive...

To conclude, there is no doubt people's needs are increasing due to environmental conditions, but it hurts crops and natural energy sources...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words35117048%
Top 300 Words153 (43%)42 (24%)27%
300 - 1000 Words69 (19%)41 (24%)59%
Over 1000 Words129 (36%)87 (51%)67%
Other Comments (jarry)
Link Words: 30 (including link phrase: 5)
Sentences: Number: 22; Average Length: 101 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(18), business(6), due(5), people(4), climate(4), that(4), demand(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.