With the growing city population, more people live in homes with small or no outdoor areas

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6074
Question:
With the growing city population, more people live in homes with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
In many large cities, the population has increased rapidly in recent years. As a result, more people now live in apartments or houses with small or no outdoor areas...

First, limited outdoor space can have a negative effect on people’s physical and mental health. Outdoor areas such as gardens, yards, or balconies provide a place for relaxation and physical activity...

Second, small living environments may weaken people’s connection with nature and the community. Outdoor areas often allow families and neighbors to interact, grow plants, or enjoy simple activities together...

In conclusion, the increase in homes with small or no outdoor areas is mostly a negative development...
Band: 8
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words33915646%
Top 300 Words158 (46%)52 (33%)32%
300 - 1000 Words80 (23%)45 (28%)56%
Over 1000 Words101 (29%)59 (37%)58%
Other Comments (blackcopper)
Link Words: 28 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 18; Average Length: 117 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(14), outdoor(8), may(8), areas(7), with(6), for(6), people(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Answer 2
The unprecedented growth of the population has become a significant concern for metropolitan cities...

Undoubtedly, accelerating the population density in big cities hurts city dwellers. The prominent point is that it raises the ailment in towns...

Some believe living in developed cities hurts children and older people. They argue that many industries are running around the clock and lots of spew spread in natural air...

To conclude, there is no doubt that an excessive population has an adverse impact on city dwellers and spreads some ailments in metropolitan cities...
Band: 6
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