In some countries, celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
Stories of USA Today
Materials for Reading & Listening Practice
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6079
Question:
In some countries, celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reasons? Is it a negative or positive development?
Answer 1
The salaries of celebs have become a very debatable issue in many nations. Some researchers argue that the income of renowned people is much higher than political leaders...

Undoubtedly, there is some reason why it is more favorable for celebrities. The predominant cause is the short span of a career...

Another major factor is that professionals devote their whole lives to polishing their skills. They started their hardship in childhood, and sometimes they did not get proper time for their study due to their passion...

Some people ponder that it is a positive development for a famous person and a particular nation...

To conclude, there are no doubt many reasons why a famous person earns more income than a politician...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words41319647%
Top 300 Words212 (51%)68 (34%)32%
300 - 1000 Words84 (20%)43 (21%)51%
Over 1000 Words117 (28%)85 (43%)72%
Other Comments (jarry)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 25; Average Length: 96 characters; Words/Sentence: 16
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has that(11), more(9), for(9), they(8), and(8), their(8), are(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-You can improve coherence and cohesion by sharpening sentences and paragraphs with accurate linking words.