Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but haven't agreed on the ideal society

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
Stories of USA Today
Materials for Reading & Listening Practice
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6097
Question:
Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but haven't agreed on the ideal society. Which factor is the most important for building a perfect society? What should people do to achieve this goal?
Answer 1
Building a perfect society is a complex and multifaceted endeavor that requires careful consideration of various factors, including social, economic, political, and cultural dynamics...

Equality and justice form the cornerstone of a fair and inclusive society where all individuals are treated with dignity, respect, and fairness...

Furthermore, equality and justice mean order and law, ensuring that all members of society are held to the same standards and are subject to impartial and transparent judicial processes...

Moreover, equality and justice bring harmony, cohesion, and trust within society. When individuals feel valued, respected, and included, they are more likely to participate in civic life actively, contribute to the common good, and cooperate with others for the betterment of society as a whole...

In conclusion, while building a perfect society requires attention to various factors, fostering equality and justice is arguably the most important element...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words30615751%
Top 300 Words120 (39%)36 (22%)30%
300 - 1000 Words59 (19%)38 (24%)64%
Over 1000 Words127 (41%)83 (52%)65%
Other Comments (kwangjean)
Link Words: 39 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 173 characters; Words/Sentence: 25
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(27), society(12), perfect(6), equality(6), justice(6), for(4), individuals(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.