Some people think that children should spend most of their time on school studies

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6683
Question:
Some people think that children should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Which view do you agree with?
Answer 1
The debate over the amount of time children should spend on school studies is a contentious issue, with varying perspectives on both sides...

Some argue that academic achievement is paramount for future success in a competitive world. They believe that dedicating ample time to studying, completing homework assignments, and participating in extracurricular academic activities is essential for mastering subjects and earning high grades...

Conversely, others raise concerns about the potential negative effects of academic pressure and overemphasis on achievement...

In conclusion, the debate over the amount of time children should spend on school studies reflects differing perspectives on the importance of academic achievement and the balance between academic rigor and overall well-being...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words32016050%
Top 300 Words143 (44%)44 (27%)30%
300 - 1000 Words46 (14%)29 (18%)63%
Over 1000 Words131 (40%)87 (54%)66%
Other Comments (zheelongchou)
Link Words: 20 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 127 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), academic(9), time(8), that(8), for(8), they(6), children(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.