It is better to go out for a live performance, such as a show or concert, than stay home watching TV or using the computer

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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Materials for Reading & Listening Practice
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6712
Question:
It is better to go out for a live performance, such as a show or concert, than stay home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
There is a heated discussion on the issue of whether enjoying a live show outside is better than watching a performance via TV or computer at home...

To begin with, most people have undergone the pleasurable experience of watching a performance through TV or computers at home...

However, others believe that the feeling of watching the opera will never be replaced. Firstly, when watching live shows in theaters, unforgettable interactions with artists and other crowds often affect audiences...

In conclusion, I firmly believe that live performance brings unforgettable interaction to the audience...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words30215350%
Top 300 Words148 (49%)47 (30%)31%
300 - 1000 Words69 (22%)46 (30%)66%
Over 1000 Words85 (28%)60 (39%)70%
Other Comments (chouray)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 128 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has watching(8), home(8), and(8), with(7), people(6), performance(5), live(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Answer 2
People are divided into the views on whether live performance is fruitful for them, whereas others ponder that watching on television and mobile phone is a better way...

Undoubtedly, we live in a contemporary era where technology plays a vital role in individual life...

Secondly, live telecast decreases folks' financial burdens. Numerous times, it has become challenging for people to spend a hefty amount of money on tickets, but with the help of WWW, they can easily watch the whole concert with their family and parents...

Admittedly, it is fruitful for those who do not like to visit gathering places because, a myriad of times, people can suffer from pickpocketing, stealing, and snatching problems...

By contrast, those who say that watching live performances is much better than television. They believe that when people tend to live with their naked eyes, it is a more distinguished experience than watching on electronic equipment...

To conclude, no doubt technology has catered to several sources of people. Watching a live concert on television has more demerits than watching with the naked eye...
Band: 6.5
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