Some people think competitive sports, such as football, are valuable because they can gather people of different ages and cultures together

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Stories of USA Today
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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6854
Question:
Some people think competitive sports, such as football, are valuable because they can gather people of different ages and cultures together. Others think competitive sports can cause problems because people are from different groups and countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Competitive sports, like football, often serve as a unifying force, bringing together people of different ages, backgrounds, and cultures under a common passion...

The positive side thinks competitive sports' value lies in their capacity to transcend social, cultural, and generational divides, creating opportunities for interaction, camaraderie, and mutual respect...

However, detractors of competitive sports argue that while they may bring people together in theory, they often exacerbate existing divisions and inequalities in practice...

I agree that competitive sports gather people of different ages and cultures together. They indeed act as a powerful force for unity and social cohesion...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words34119456%
Top 300 Words130 (38%)45 (23%)34%
300 - 1000 Words70 (20%)43 (22%)61%
Over 1000 Words141 (41%)106 (54%)75%
Other Comments (jamesluojie)
Link Words: 34 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 158 characters; Words/Sentence: 22
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.