In many countries, it is now illegal to smoke in public places

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4004
Question:
In many countries, it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is unfair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
The issue of smoking and smoking bans is an emotive one because smokers and non-smokers both tend to hold strong views about their rights...

Non-smokers have been complaining for years that they should not have to breathe in other people's smoke in places such as the workplace, restaurants, and cafes and on buses, trains, and planes...

Generally speaking, therefore, I am in favour of smoke-free workplaces, transport and buildings. Non-smokers should not have other people's smoke imposed on them...

Although smokers have their own rights, public health has a higher priority. It's why it is now illegal to smoke in public places or even in one's own apartments...

Such measures would still give the majority their smoke-free environment but protect the wishes of the minority that smoke...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words24813353%
Top 300 Words136 (54%)58 (43%)42%
300 - 1000 Words41 (16%)32 (24%)78%
Over 1000 Words71 (28%)43 (32%)60%
Other Comments (jadelee)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 118 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), have(8), smoke(7), that(5), smokers(4), non-smokers(4), places(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.