High school is a crucial period in the life of young people

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4023
Question:
High school is a crucial period in the life of young people. What factors are related to academic success in high school students?
Answer 1
High school is a critical time in the life of young people. On the one hand, teenagers are eager to enjoy their freedom and independence...

First, the family plays the central role by providing the backdrop in a young person's life. A positive family environment offers love, support, and encouragement for students to do their best...

Second, as a child turns into a teenager, the peer group plays an increasingly important role in their life...

Lastly, the school is a factor in the student's academic success. Various elements determine how the students feel about school: the teachers, the staff, the facilities, the subjects, the textbooks, the method of instruction, and more...

In conclusion, high school success is the product of various influences. We are all fortunate that, aside from a few unfortunate exceptions, most students worldwide aspire to do well and grow up to become active and healthy participants in the world around them...
Band: 7.5
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Answer 2
High school is a crucial period in the life of young people. The factors that impact this period's students are severe topics for a long time...

Although several personal factors contribute to academic success, the first is willpower. In other words, the student must be self-controlled...

Social factors also have to play a crucial role in the victory of high school students. A positive family environment provides love, support, and encouragement for the student to be the best, instilling discipline and ambition in the child...

In conclusion, high school success is a product of various influences. If a student is studious and does his best to achieve academic achievement, he can become a successful member of society...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26613651%
Top 300 Words130 (48%)44 (32%)33%
300 - 1000 Words48 (18%)34 (25%)70%
Over 1000 Words88 (33%)58 (42%)65%
Other Comments (tessyjames)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 96 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), school(5), high(4), factors(4), student(4), success(4), crucial(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.