Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or save it for some time

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6710
Question:
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or save it for some time? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Answer 1
Attitudes toward money in hands vary widely among individuals. While some people enjoy spending money to enjoy life, others prefer to save and invest their money for future security, financial freedom, and long-term goals...

For those who enjoy spending money when earning it, the appeal lies in the immediate gratification and enjoyment that comes from indulging in experiences, purchases, and luxuries...

On the other hand, those who prefer saving money value financial security, stability, and independence...

In conclusion, attitudes towards money management vary among individuals. Although some enjoy spending money when earning it, I believe saving is a reasonable choice, and I prefer to invest for the future...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words35915944%
Top 300 Words162 (45%)48 (30%)29%
300 - 1000 Words67 (18%)36 (22%)53%
Over 1000 Words130 (36%)75 (47%)57%
Other Comments (jamesluojie)
Link Words: 30 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 141 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(20), money(13), their(10), financial(10), spending(7), for(7), future(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.