Question: Nowadays, people are simultaneously trying to have a successful career and happy family life. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?
People have become increasingly ambitious; everyone wants to lead a happy and successful life. With the cutting-edge competition in today's world, it isn't easy to maintain a balance between both...
Undoubtedly, in the twenty-first century, everyone wants to balance a personal and professional life, but most people can not make it...
Secondly, the reason is that most people believe wealth and materialistic things play a significant role in individual life and that without all things, life is worthless...
On the other hand, people can handle this problem if they give equal priority to their family and professional...
To conclude, prosperous life and contentment are more significant in life rather than materialistic things...
In the contemporary era, most individuals dream about having a bright profession and a joyful family together...
To commence with the drawback, the most apparent footprints are that it adversely influences child care and hinders professional development...
On the other hand, some solutions to the complications mentioned above exist. Firstly, to manage both aspects, such as career and family, people should do their jobs with complete dedication and spend valuable time with family on weekends without worrying about office work...
To conclude, simultaneously thinking about a desired career and family can have complications. So, after having a great deal of discussion, I can figure that to have stability and happiness in life, workers should maintain balance with the things they have...
Among the significant issues of contemporary society is desperately struggling with the inner individual desire to achieve high peaks in their career and at the same time lead a happy family life, which, in my perspective, is hardly an achievable goal and could lead to several critical problems in both personal career and social life...
Such a grave challenge typically harms a person's development and mental health. It is absolutely impossible for many to simultaneously sit at the two chairs and create family bonds while pursuing career goals...
Considering the effect of the problem above, both individuals and society should be put in the practical, pragmatic solution, which, in my perspective, is to stop running after career goals and pay more attention to family members...
The main conclusion here is that the problems in society are often created by neglecting the critical point of individuals' lives, which could be satisfactory or partly solved by underlying the cause of the current issue...
Sentences: Number: 11; Average Length: 179 characters; Words/Sentence: 28
Suggestions: IELTS Essay Format: -You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(14), family(9), could(6), members(6), individuals(5), their(5), career(5); try to decrease duplicated words. -High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some. -Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response: -The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok. But the third paragraph should be shrunk. Coherence and Cohesion: -The response is organized into paragraphs, but the focus of each is not always clear.