Some people think teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
Stories of USA Today
Materials for Reading & Listening Practice
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6807
Question:
Some people think teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and provide examples.
Answer 1
I agree that having a job is a rewarding way for teenagers to spend their free time and also a great way to strengthen local communities...

First and foremost, teenagers need motivation more than anything to go out of their comfort zone and spend their free time working...

Second, in the long term, the local communities could also benefit from providing paid jobs instead of unpaid jobs...

Considering what has been mentioned in the previous paragraphs, in my opinion, teenagers should definitely be encouraged and pushed to take on new responsibilities in their communities in the form of paid jobs...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words28814951%
Top 300 Words160 (55%)56 (37%)35%
300 - 1000 Words44 (15%)27 (18%)61%
Over 1000 Words84 (29%)66 (44%)78%
Other Comments (hm)
Link Words: 26 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 143 characters; Words/Sentence: 24
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(15), would(7), their(6), that(5), job(5), teenagers(5), more(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 2
Volunteer jobs bring more opportunities for youngsters' personal and professional lives. Some people assert that teenager should spend their valuable time in unpaid jobs for the welfare of society...

Undoubtedly, there are a multitude of reasons why youngsters should participate in voluntary service...

Secondly, youth can learn crucial skills from volunteer jobs, such as cooperation, teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills...

Apart from that, many multinational companies give more priority to those people who spend valuable time in unpaid jobs...

To conclude, there are a myriad of reasons why teenagers should utilize the necessary time for voluntary activities from which they can learn valuable skills...
Band: 6.5
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