Some people believe that children under age 10 should be given their own interest subjects, while others believe that they should be given regular subjects

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6840
Question:
Some people believe that children under age 10 should be given their own interest subjects, while others believe that they should be given regular subjects. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
It is irrefutable that academic subjects have become a very debatable issue in the whole globe. Some people argue that learner should choose their academic subjects according to their interests, whereas others say that they should attain knowledge as a standard...

Undoubtedly, choosing one's subject under ten years of age should not be worthwhile for the student...

By contrast, those who say that students only adopt their favorite subject during school education...

In my ideology, both arguments play a significant role in pupils' lives, but regular subjects have a more positive result for the learner...

To conclude, no doubt gathering information about all subjects brings a more positive result for pupils...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words49019940%
Top 300 Words258 (52%)67 (33%)25%
300 - 1000 Words107 (21%)45 (22%)42%
Over 1000 Words125 (25%)87 (43%)69%
Other Comments (jarry)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 4)
Sentences: Number: 26; Average Length: 114 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has that(11), subjects(11), their(9), about(8), they(7), knowledge(7), not(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-You can improve coherence and cohesion by sharpening sentences and paragraphs with accurate linking words.