Some parents believe that children should be involved in educational activities during their leisure time

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6844
Question:
Some parents believe that children should be involved in educational activities during their leisure time. While others believe it adds too much pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Some parents believe that children should be involved in educational activities during their leisure time, while others think this puts too much pressure on them...

Supporters of educational activities during leisure time argue that such pursuits offer numerous benefits for children's intellectual, social, and emotional development...

On the other hand, opponents of educational activities during leisure time may argue that children need time to relax, unwind, and engage in unstructured play...

In conclusion, the debate over whether children should be involved in educational activities during their leisure time reflects differing perspectives on the role of education, play, and relaxation in children's lives...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words33416449%
Top 300 Words151 (45%)46 (28%)30%
300 - 1000 Words41 (12%)27 (16%)65%
Over 1000 Words142 (42%)91 (55%)64%
Other Comments (zheelongchou)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 147 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), educational(11), activities(10), time(9), that(8), children(8), their(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.