Some people think there should be a law banning young people under 18 from going out after midnight; others think it should not be

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6845
Question:
Some people think there should be a law banning young people under 18 from going out after midnight; others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Unprecedented growth of crime rates has become a significant issue all over the globe. The majority of individuals argue that a law should be imposed on teenagers not to go outside after midnight...

Undoubtedly, making a law for juveniles not to go outside after midnight brings more positive points for them...

On the other hand, some people believe that we are living in the twenty-first century, so everyone has the right to live their life...

In my ideology, both notions have their own brighter side, but a blanket ban on teenagers after midnight is more advantageous for all of them...

To conclude, there is no doubt the government makes the law to fare society well. Many people believe that higher authority prohibiting juveniles from going outside at midnight brings more merits for them and deficiency the burden of parents and bureaucrats...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words47220042%
Top 300 Words269 (56%)68 (34%)25%
300 - 1000 Words79 (16%)40 (20%)50%
Over 1000 Words124 (26%)92 (46%)74%
Other Comments (jarry)
Link Words: 26 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 25; Average Length: 112 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(15), that(10), outside(9), their(9), law(8), midnight(8), for(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.