Some people think it is more important to spend time developing a successful career, while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family
IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers
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Question:
Some people think it is more important to spend time developing a successful career, while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some people think it is more important to spend time developing a successful career, while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Time is money is the best description of how valuable time is for every human being. Some people believe that chasing a successful career is the best way of spending time...
On the one hand, people who spend time developing a successful career are one of the criteria of significant achievement to prove their social status...
On the other hand, spending time with friends and family may not be judged as cherishing time enough from different people's eyes, but it will bring emotional satisfaction to the person...
To sum up, people value things differently. High social status and richness could bring happiness to some people...
On the one hand, people who spend time developing a successful career are one of the criteria of significant achievement to prove their social status...
On the other hand, spending time with friends and family may not be judged as cherishing time enough from different people's eyes, but it will bring emotional satisfaction to the person...
To sum up, people value things differently. High social status and richness could bring happiness to some people...
Band: 6
......
Answer 2
These days, some prefer to invest their time in their professional raise, while for others, hanging out with their families and friends has more value...
To become happy, people try to achieve success at work, spending as much time in their offices as they can...
Meanwhile, it is more important for some to be surrounded by their closest relatives and friends. Such people feel socially and emotionally related to others and, thus, prefer relationships to their jobs...
To conclude, wise devotion to time, whether to work or private life, should be considered by everyone because it will prevent them from possible negative consequences, like depression, stress, and frustration...
To become happy, people try to achieve success at work, spending as much time in their offices as they can...
Meanwhile, it is more important for some to be surrounded by their closest relatives and friends. Such people feel socially and emotionally related to others and, thus, prefer relationships to their jobs...
To conclude, wise devotion to time, whether to work or private life, should be considered by everyone because it will prevent them from possible negative consequences, like depression, stress, and frustration...
Band: 6
......
Answer 3
In today's competitive world, most people think it's more important to spend time establishing a successful career, especially years after studying to obtain a degree...
Obtaining a successful career allows you to make decisions and choices to enhance your life. Although money cannot buy happiness, it can make your life easier and offer a sense of freedom...
On the other hand, many feel that it's a great deal of sacrifice to concentrate mainly on their careers and not their loved ones...
Many successful people spend most of their time either traveling for business or spending hours in the office in meetings and more...
In conclusion, I feel that we all make decisions in life to survive the best way we can, and one can find happiness in a successful career while others may settle to spend and share time with those they cherish...
Obtaining a successful career allows you to make decisions and choices to enhance your life. Although money cannot buy happiness, it can make your life easier and offer a sense of freedom...
On the other hand, many feel that it's a great deal of sacrifice to concentrate mainly on their careers and not their loved ones...
Many successful people spend most of their time either traveling for business or spending hours in the office in meetings and more...
In conclusion, I feel that we all make decisions in life to survive the best way we can, and one can find happiness in a successful career while others may settle to spend and share time with those they cherish...
Band: 5.5
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 303 | 148 | 48% |
| Top 300 Words | 171 (56%) | 61 (41%) | 35% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 62 (20%) | 44 (29%) | 70% |
| Over 1000 Words | 70 (23%) | 43 (29%) | 61% |
Other Comments (camille)
Link Words: 24 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 123 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The introduction isn't strong enough, try to enhance it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), time(7), career(6), you(6), your(6), successful(5), can(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:IELTS Essay Format:
-The introduction isn't strong enough, try to enhance it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), time(7), career(6), you(6), your(6), successful(5), can(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-The essay doesn't match the question exactly; suggest restructuring it as an IELTS essay. Besides, the original version is too wordy.